A new beginning I desired,
So left my job and loving wife
To stand on mountains, seas and land.
To wake each day a better man.
I hurried not my journeying.
My body learned new songs to sing.
I played at life yet always planned,
To wake each day a better man.
By day I played at bravery,
At night new lovers, pleasured me.
How tough it was to make a stand
To wake each day a better man.
But futile was my wandering
Returning home - no welcoming,
I found I’d not fulfilled my plan
a better man --- it does not sound like he was truly seeking that considering he turned his back on his family...sounds a bit more selfish to me....
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly
Deleteand welcome to Poetry Jam...hope you enjoy
ReplyDeleteyour time among the poems...
Thanks
DeleteI enjoyed reading your poem, rhyming is nice! Nope, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen.
DeleteAh, sometimes when one journeys away from home looking for something, one discovers that one cannot find anything more afar than one could find in one's own backyard! I like the form of this poem and also the rhyme of it.
ReplyDeleteGlad to meet you here at Poetry Jam. We have a prompt weekly, and we hope you will continue to take part. The best way to get to know us is to visit our poems as well. There are not all that many, and we all like to get to know a new person. Welcome.
Thank you and thank you I will read and comment where I can :)
DeleteHi Bev -- I hope you WILL visit those who commented on your poem. (Not just me) And perhaps if you visit some of the others who have recently posted, they will visit you in return as well.
DeleteI enjoyed the perspective you adopted in your poem, Bev, and the way you used repetition there and how its meaning and impact vary slightly in each stanza. Welcome to Poetry Jam!
ReplyDeleteThank you Gabriella
Deletebeautiful form it is , i too had once written a poem based upon this form.welcome!
ReplyDeleteI like this form too thanks for commenting
DeleteThere is a sense of futility here, and yet, i would say, the journey's not ended
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping over to read mine
Much love...
YW Gillena
Deletenice poem to describe futility of a life not well lived.
ReplyDeleteJourney To Someone's Heart
Or someone dissatisfied with what the already have :) thanks for commenting.
DeleteAh this is sad but hopeful too. I liked reading it. Thanks for posting here on Poetry Jam. Hope to see you around again!
ReplyDeleteBev That was beautiful. Good form and good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIs that the camp grounds in the photo?
No Susan that's taken from the bottom end of our camp. It's the boat ramp and store and boarding-house. Beautiful view which hasn't changed for 180 years
DeleteIt is a beautiful view.
DeleteWelcome to Poetry Jam Bev. What a wonderful first entry. I love the rhyme in this and the message comes across beautifully. Look forward to reading more of your poetry!
ReplyDeleteThank you Carrie and thanks for stopping by :)
DeleteThat's what happens when one is alone. A fulfillment still unfulfilled at the end of the day!. Thoughtful lines Bev! Nice to know you, Ma'am!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thank you Hank. Perhaps all we need do is re examine our present lives before leaping off the pier ;)
DeleteLife really doesn't go as planned. Beautifully penned and nicely rhymed!
ReplyDeleteNo it doesn't. Thanks for stopping by and for commenting.
DeleteThank you for your kind comments
ReplyDeleteWell written! The journey you depicted here was obviously unsuccessful. It reminds me of this saying:
ReplyDelete"Wherever you go, there you are."
Welcome to Poetry Jam. May you contribute more!
It is sad not to see the blessing in what one already has… and yet sometimes it takes the journey and return to understand.
ReplyDeleteThat's too true Laura and often by the time you realise it, it's too late.
DeleteGoosebumps! Loved this . . . wonderfully worded, beautifully rhymed and the closing stanza packed a wallop.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it Wendy thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Deletetry, try, try again doesn't seem to work for him. :)
ReplyDeleteall the futile attempt to become better...just by acceptance and acknowledging life a much more understanding can arise,,
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, yes... Sometimes standing your ground and braving the everyday routine and overcoming all of life's difficulties, that is what makes us better men... Nice one, Bev.
ReplyDelete